Time Travelling Ninjas on Motorbikes

December 12, 2006

As somewhat of a connoisseur of films featuring librarians in bit-part roles (The Mummy, Day after Tomorrow) I was excited to hear of a film that featured a librarian in a starring role. ‘The Librarian – Quest for the Spear’ undoubtedly was made for TV, and that TV was from the mid 90’s. Its entertainment strictly by numbers, however those numbers happen to be 102.888 LIB.

Puns Over

Actually its quite good, it’s enjoyable for its novelty value and has some rather ludicrous dialogue. Think Snakes on a Plane and you won’t be far off.

Best Parts

“I can create an RSS feed! Ha, We all can do that”

“Get your own geek”

Quite decent CGI.

Fighting Monks.

The appearance at the end of the movie of “Time Travelling Ninjas on Motorbikes”

Actually having the brains to lob a rock at the booby-trapped statue from a safe distance rather than risk all mucking around with bags of sand (I’m looking at you Indiana Jones, tsk).

Worst Parts

The Librarian has no library qualifications (though 20+ degrees?!) and lives with his mother, however he seems to have a personal stylist and must visit the gym quite a bit.

The English love interests accent is a disaster, what’s going on there? Is there some filter all British dialogue in the US is piped though that converts normal speech into ‘Oh My, Jolly poor show what ho! Pip-Pip’?

Shoehorned in Love rival.

Completely irrelevant library.

The Monks Fighting, If you are a monk either you stand there refusing to fight or you are a whirling saffron robe of death. Slap fighting is unacceptable.

Hackneyed reused rehashed and recycled plot.

If you find the time, watch it and laugh. It won’t be a memorable moment for you though, unless you previously watched ‘Fire on the Mountain*’

*The worse TV movie I have ever watched, bar none. I was trapped on a ferry for 7 hours and it played 3 times, I still wake up screaming.

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